Roll To Dodge: The Fourth Adventure

I steal Mereel's support kit.

TURN THREE

Mereel:

Quote :

“I pick up the radio and check if it still works.”

You pick up the radio, but are distracted by a very dangerous-looking event.

Griff:

Quote :

“Using my sledge hammer, and the inevitable liquid from the syringes that I smashed that is on it, I revive Columbidae. While doing so, I accidentally get slapped.”

Using your usual recklessness, you smash your syrum-coated sledgehammer into Columbidae’s face. Her face proceeds to reform, and she starts 8reathing again. She then sits up quickly and slaps you across the face. Hard. “Accidentally”.

Columbidae:

Quote :

“I get revived. In coming back to life I "accidentally" slap Grifsworld >.>”

You quickly sit up and slap Griffin across the face on “accident”. Being dead was kind of interesting actually.

Ryan:

Quote :

“I head outside and attempt to gain information about the where/when/what/why of our location and situation from the men in business suits.”

You walk outside to talk to the two men in suits. You flag them down, and ask them where you are, when it is, what you are doing here, and why you are here. The first suited man looks at you with one eye closed but doesn’t say anything . The second businessman has both eyes closed, but he is the one who talks to you. He is obviously wearing false teeth. “You eight do not know why you are here, but that is not required for the task ahead. Your strings have been measured and cut, all that is left is for you to make the best of the time you have left. What time this world has left is short. Once that time runs out, you must rise to the beacon. The journey up will be difficult, and riddled with enemies, but it must be done.” As he finishes his message, a third man in a suit walks up and hurries them along. The third man had very dark glasses, like that of a blind man. The three of them leave, and the one who spoke to you turns around, adjusts his tie, and the three of them go behind a building.

Ponita:

Quote :

“I leave the shack and call out to the two people walking down the street”

You exit the shack and can only listen to what the men say before they leave.

Malphas:

Quote :

“I curse at my horrible luck thus-far, then attempt to salvage anything I can from the drawer. After that I proceed to follow Ryan and Ponita outside. Out there I observe my surroundings thoroughly and prepare myself for any more bad luck.”

Cursing at your horrible luck, and hoping it will turn around, you attempt to salvage anything you can from the crushed dresser. You pull out multiple round objects, and upon observation you have salvaged eight grenades. Awesome! Something looks wrong about them though, almost like they are missing something very important….

Blue:

Quote :

“I follow the others outside and glean as much information as I can from our surrondings.”

You are too distracted by the potentially death-inducing event that has occurred. Multiple pinless grenades tend to distract people.

Master:

Quote :

“I steal Mereel's support kit.”

(4-2=2) If Mereel had a support kit to steal, you would be all over stealing that support kit. You would have swiped it without him even noticing, even if it had been equipped. Unfortunately for you, however, he does not have a support kit. There goes that plan.

Outside is a city. What city it is is still unknown, but that doesn’t matter anyway. Apparently the world will end soon. Or something. Inside the shack there is a slight dilemma. Malphas appears to have salvaged eight grenades that are missing their pins.

Ryan: M16, 4 frags, a 9mm pistol, a med kit, and ammo for the guns
Mereel: Machine Gun, .45 revolver, Frag grenades, Med kit, ammo for the guns, a small key, and a radio
Blue: A shotgun, a 9mm pistol, 8 med kits, and ammo for the guns
Malphas: Eight live grenades
Ponita: Sniper Rifle, silenced 9mm pistol, 4 claymores, a med kit, and ammo for the guns
Griff: Sledgehammer
Master: Nothing
Columbidae: Nothing

I curse and hurl the grenades at Master, then run out of the cabin and dive to the ground as the deadly things blow up.

I flee the building to a safe distance, dragging Ponita and Columbidae along with me.

I sing opera at the top of my lungs.

I sprint away from the building.

I run to a safe distance away from the room, and inspect my surroundings.

I wall smash through the wall away from mr. Grenade pants while screamig about how beautiful the opera is.

TURN FOUR

Mereel:

Quote :

“Clutching the radio, I sprint outside to a safe distance from the shack.”

You make sure you still have the radio, and, clutching it to your chest, you sprint outside and across the street where the rest of the crew is waiting. Griff’s hurtling body rushes out of the wall to the shack you were just in, and… you jump out of the way in time, and avoid any injury.

Malphas:

Quote :

“I curse and hurl the grenades at Master, then run out of the cabin and dive to the ground as the deadly things blow up..”

Cursing, you hurl the grenades at Master and sprint out of a gaping hole in the cabin that recently appeared. You make it across the street to where everyone else is with no other big problems. Except for the apparently crazed man rushing at you, who you… avoid successfully.

Blue:

Quote :

“I flee the building to a safe distance, dragging Ponita and Columbidae along with me.”

You flee the danger zone to across the street, but seeing as how Ponita is already out there and Columbidae escaped on her own, you don’t drag them out with you. As you are running across the street, however, Griff … knocks you to the ground, and you get a few minor scrapes and bruises, but nothing too important.

Master:

Quote :

“I sing opera at the top of my lungs.”

You sing “Il ritorno d'Ulisse in patria” in your best singing voice. While singing, you Griff shouts and charges out of the building … carrying you with him and across the street. When you get to the other side you realize that you are still singing, and Griff has been complimenting your beautiful opera the entire time. Oh, and you are pretty dizzy from that huge tackle. No big deal.

Columbidae:

Quote :

“I sprint away from the building.”

You run out of the building, easily predicting Griff’s movements ahead of time and sprint out of the building without even worrying about having to avoid him. You make it across the street with ease.

Ryan:

Quote :

“I follow the gmen through what is clearly and most definitely a post-apocalyptic zombie infested city.”

You follow those people who are totally not Gmen around the corner, but are disappointed… or maybe not so disappointed to find that they are gone. You are, however, disappointed that this is not a post-apocalyptic zombie infested city. You should be more worried about the shockwave from Griff’s charge, which …. knocks you to the ground, but doesn’t do any serious damage to you.

Ponita:

Quote :

“I run to a safe distance away from the room, and inspect my surroundings.”

You run across the street, and when Griff rushes by he … completely misses you and you make it safely across the street. You are on a sidewalk. In a city. It looks like Washington D.C.

Griff:

Quote :

“I wall smash through the wall away from Mr. Grenade pants while screaming about how beautiful the opera is.”

Having no idea where it comes from, you shout out “WULD NAH KEST” and launch through the wall in a whirlwind of power. You and your shockwave cause everyone to try and avoid you, but you do make it to the other side of the street. Leaving a small crater where you started, carrying Master with you, and leaving a scar in the road from the crater to where you currently are standing. All of this is done while commenting how beautiful Master’s opera is.

The grenades go off in the shack, but there is nobody there to suffer their shrapnel, and Griff’s shockwave successfully keeps them inside. Now that everyone is alive and across the street, things are looking up!

Ryan: M16, 4 frags, a 9mm pistol, a med kit, and ammo for the guns
Mereel: Machine Gun, .45 revolver, Frag grenades, Med kit, ammo for the guns, a small key, and a radio
Blue: A shotgun, a 9mm pistol, 8 med kits, and ammo for the guns
Malphas: Nothing
Ponita: Sniper Rifle, silenced 9mm pistol, 4 claymores, a med kit, and ammo for the guns
Griff: Sledgehammer
Master: Nothing
Columbidae: Nothing

I begin scouting out the city, searching for places of interest or use.

I pull a few planks from the remains of the shack and prepare myself for whatever lies ahead.

Feeling successful, I look menacingly at the ground, because it has given me no clear goal. And really, what is the point of ground if not to provide adventurers with a goal? So wouldn't it make sense that the ground provide us with a goal? Yes, yes it would. But DOES the ground provide us with a goal? NO. It just creates some lame people who say something vague and demeaning about strings and the end of the world AND THEN disappear like some first class jerks. Not only that, but there isn't even anything to kill other than each other, and I've already done that in both directions so that's old hat.

AND NOW, even the boring house has been destroyed.
I mean, really the least this ground could do is generate some zombies or SOMETHING.

All in all, while looking menacingly at the ground I think to myself that there has GOT to be some better ground SOMEWHERE and how much nicer the world would be if the ground wasn't such a slacker.

AND WHERE ARE THE CURSED ELEPHANTS HUH?

After glancing at the guy who punched a hole through a solid wall and finding him glaring menacingly at the ground, I worry that staying here isn't a good idea. As this thought crosses my mind, I notice Blue wandering off, and decide to follow.

I practice my tap dance skillz in the middle of the street while I phone the president on my private line and ask why I was in boarded up room with a bunch of weirdos and Grifsworld.

I climb to a rooftop and begin to scout for hostiles.

TURN FIVE
In Which A Party Splits [Or Never Split The Party]

Mereel:

Quote :

“Now that the danger has passed, I attempt to turn on the radio and scan through all the frequencies.”

You turn on the radio and scan through every frequency that you can. You finally get to a frequency that has something other than static. “Have you seen an APPLE tree lately? They are all the rage in EVERY PART of the city! Make sure not to step on them with your FOOT, or people will start to watch you with EYES that see when they are open. Keep your CELL PHONE on you at all times, as well as a BOOK to catalogue all of the trees you find! If you find eight trees, bring them to the giant CLOCK tower to get your complimentary GIANT PARTY HAT. Keep a lookout, and always use your trusty MAGNIFYING GLASS for all of the tiny saplings.” Well, not that station, keep trying. You scan through some more frequencies until you hear something else that isn’t static. “Can.... Us…. Near the…. To the left of the clock tower…. Apple tree…. Help….” The signal then cuts off.

Blue:

Quote :

“I begin scouting out the city, searching for places of interest or use.”

You head off in your own direction to look for places that would be of any interest or use to the group or really just you. As you explore you notice Malphas following you. In total you find: A supermarket, a card store, a hardware store, and a sporting goods store. This would be good intel to return to the team.

Ryan:

Quote :

“I head for the White House to make a well worded and compelling complaint about the embarrassingly low number of zombies in this embarrassingly not post-apocalyptic city. While at the White House, I also ask what the heck is going on, and assure them that I do not intend to use all the guns and weapons I am carrying for anti-American or homeland-security threatening purposes. (I think.)”

Yes, head for the White House in the city that may or may not be Washington D.C. according to what one person thinks. You head for it, and end up outside an empty white house.

Columbidae:

Quote :

“I pull a few planks from the remains of the shack and prepare myself for whatever lies ahead.”

You look over at the mess from the remains of the shack and decide you are probably better off not trying to mess with it.

Griff:

Quote :

“Feeling successful, I look menacingly at the ground, because it has given me no clear goal. And really, what is the point of ground if not to provide adventurers with a goal? So wouldn't it make sense that the ground provide us with a goal? Yes, yes it would. But DOES the ground provide us with a goal? NO. It just creates some lame people who say something vague and demeaning about strings and the end of the world AND THEN disappear like some first class jerks. Not only that, but there isn't even anything to kill other than each other, and I've already done that in both directions so that's old hat.

AND NOW, even the boring house has been destroyed.
I mean, really the least this ground could do is generate some zombies or SOMETHING.

All in all, while looking menacingly at the ground I think to myself that there has GOT to be some better ground SOMEWHERE and how much nicer the world would be if the ground wasn't such a slacker.

AND WHERE ARE THE CURSED ELEPHANTS HUH?”

You look menacingly at that ground. So menacingly. However, it proceeds to not generate zombies and be a slacker. You notice a small apple tree near Master and that everyone seems to be going their separate ways. If only there were some cursed elephants to cheer you up. No luck? They shouldn’t be necessary in the very near future, because I guess the ground just MIGHT be listening… to your stare?

Malphas:

Quote :

“After glancing at the guy who punched a hole through a solid wall and finding him glaring menacingly at the ground, I worry that staying here isn't a good idea. As this thought crosses my mind, I notice Blue wandering off, and decide to follow.”

You follow Blue on her journey through the nearby streets.

Master:

Quote :

“I practice my tap dance skillz in the middle of the street. Also, I phone the president on my private line and ask why I was in boarded up room with a bunch of weirdos and Grifsworld.”

You tap dance like a master, showing off your “tap dance skillz” for all to see. After your opera, this is another welcome performance from the Master performer. While tap dancing you jump over a small apple tree that is growing in a patch of soil near where Griff is staring menacingly at the ground.

Ponita:

Quote :

“I climb to a rooftop and begin to scout for hostiles.”

You look to the building that is nearest you, and look up to its high rooftop. You then scale it from the outside to get to the top. When you do finally get to the top, you make use of your sniper rifle’s scope to help you scan for hostiles. No hostiles in sight, but the sun should be going down soon. You start to think you could make a map of the nearby city from up here if you tried, but it may be hard in the dark.

Divide and conquer, that’s cool, right? Ryan is out in some part of the city, while Blue and Malphas are in another part of the city. Ponita has attained a vantage point where she can see a good portion of the city and any hostiles approaching Griff, Master, Mereel, Columbidae, and herself by the roads. Was that a moan? Naw, more like a groan. Hey, arguing sound effects won’t get you anywhere, especially when people are coming to say hello to you. Those ARE people right? The six people-things walking down the road toward Griff, Master, Mereel, Columbidae, and Ponita, or the three people-things shambling their ways toward Blue and Malphas. How about those two that are coming towards Ryan at a slow and steady pace? They look harmless enough despite the rotting flesh, rank smell, and constant moaning or groaning (you aren’t really sure which). If only you knew the way BACK to each other. It won’t be too easy to find out now that it is dark. Did I mention that? Yes, night has set. Rather quickly if I do say so myself. Night tends to be bad for people who AREN’T shambling, groaning/moaning, smelly, people-things.

Ryan: M16, 4 frags, a 9mm pistol, a med kit, and ammo for the guns
Mereel: Machine Gun, .45 revolver, Frag grenades, Med kit, ammo for the guns, a small key, and a radio
Blue: A shotgun, a 9mm pistol, 8 med kits, and ammo for the guns
Malphas: Nothing
Ponita: Sniper Rifle, silenced 9mm pistol, 4 claymores, a med kit, and ammo for the guns
Griff: Sledgehammer
Master: Nothing
Columbidae: Nothing

To support my teammates who have no real means to protect themselves, I use my rifle to gun down approaching Walkers.

In preparation for upcoming die rolling, I have prepared the following turn, which was prepared using the up most preparation skills which were prepared to show how truly good at I am at preparing in a preparational fashion:

In preparation to prepare to preparationally assist Ponita who is, very preparidly, obviously being very prepared by preparing to protect and help prepare our possibly unprepared teamates who didn't run away get prepared, I prepare myself down on the ground with a preparatory stance while holding my sledge hammer in a prepared stance in preparation to smash in some unprepared faces if they manage to make it past the well prepared fire of her her rifle which was prepared.

If anyone were to prepare an argument stating that I am not prepared enough I suggest you prepare yourself for what would surely be a well prepared onslaught of preparatory prepared responses. Which I prepared.

The ground was unprepared for my prepared stare and look what it's unpreparidness got it?

Now, you may ask yourself "Is he really prepared to be prepared or is he just preparing and claiming to be prepared while preparing?"

I have prepared a very well thought out answer. It was prepared as such: LOOK AT MY PREPARED LOOKING DANCING PREPARING BEAR PICTURE AND SHUT YOUR FACE, I'm prepared.

Now, if you have prepared your probably unprepared feelings like this:


I have prepared a preparatory example of my preparidness, which has been quite well prepared and arranged in a prepared order of one prepared thing as follows preparidly:
An example of an unprepared person, that is, someone who is not as prepared as I am would be the following unprepared person:



So basically, compared to that unprepared individual I am like the utterly prepared God of preparidness. Who, in case you might be wondering is very good at preparing and being prepared in a prepared fashion.

I do feel sorry for the unprepared not part of our well preparing and grouped posse of preparidness. But the prepared world goes on leaving little room for the unprepared. And if there is one thing I know, it's that preparing to be prepared and then successfully being prepared about preparing leaves a much higher chance of prepared survival than those that are unprepared and venturing off like unprepared people. So that's that prepared statement of prepareidness for you prepared and unprepared folks.

Now seeing as you unprepared people are usually not prepared you often ask unprepared questions that make no sense. HOWEVER if you were to unprepareidly ask a question about what an unprepared person would look like if they thought they were prepared but they weren't really prepared that unprepared person would probably look like this:


And now you foolishly unprepared folks are probably going "But GWIFSWURLD, WE SO PREPARED." And that, my horidly unprepared failing preparing friends is where you are wrong. You know why that is you failures at preparation? Because you're doing the unprepared dance with no preparation right now.

I preparedly decided that I would not make a good prepared example of a preparing prepared person if I did not prepare and present to you in a wonderfully prepared fashion a preparedimage of someone who is preparedly preparing. So to both you prepared and unprepared/underprepared persons, I present you this image of a truly prepared individual who is prepared:

The fine dancing individual who's image was prepared and published above is a prime example of someone who prepared to prepare to be preparing to successfully be prepared. There is no question of how prepared he really is, just like there is no question of how prepared my preparing is making me.

Also, if there WERE to be cursed elephants, they would be prepared unlike the unprepared and totally useless unpreparing ground from the previous turn in which I was also prepared, just less vocal about my preparidness.

Since my companions are so prepared I duck behind them to grab the apple tree.